Most of us are busy day-dreaming about the final days of summer, creating lists about what to pack for their final vacation on Labor Day Weekend, running through their lists of recipes that utilize peaches, tomatoes, green beans, and corn, and wondering how long their summer tan will last. However, publicists are busy reminding their clients that if they want their gift sets included in media coverage this fall and winter, they need to get them their photo assets, price points and product descriptions, like yesterday. Many PR firms host some sort of Jolly in July or Christmas in July event to put gift sets on the radar of journalists and editors before they start planning their holiday season coverage. 

​Long Lead Editorial, like print publications run three months ahead of time, and publish the month before. November's issue comes out in October, and they finish putting the magazine together around July and August. There are of course exceptions to the rule, but usually this time of year, print publications are looking towards the end of the year, even if the summer hasn't fully wrapped. 

Because of search engines optimization and so many folks googling what to buy for their co-worker, mother-in-law, new friend, child's teacher, and everyone else on the nice and naughty list, most of gift guides are online. There could be a little more wiggle room here. Many online gift guides are written between August and December, with some coming up to the final weeks of the holiday season. 

However, for Black Friday and Cyber Monday, many journalists start tracking sales in the summer for the biggest shopping day of the year. I usually get my first request for these sales in Mid-August, and even then, that's late for media planning for holiday gift guides. 

While I'm the first one to complain when Halloween Decor comes out in stores while I'm still wearing sandals, and Christmas settings are on sale before I've made my first apple pie of the Autumn season, I'm also the first person to tell clients and brands that they should've starting thinking about holiday gift sets months ago. 

If you and your team haven't already decided what your Black Friday and Cyber Monday sale will be, make sure you finalize your Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales before you leave for Labor Day Weekend. 

When most startups think about Public Relations, they think about press media coverage in magazines, newspapers and similar caliber online platforms. The process to garnering organic—without advertising costs—news coverage in these media outlets with a positive tone, is media relations. The general consensus on definition of media relations is the informing of journalists, editors and producers about a brand, company or entrepreneur in efforts to produce organic media coverage in a positive light. When a company stays on the radar of journalists and editors through email updates [pitches], in person meetings, event activations that bring the meaning of your brand to life, the press will remember your name in a way that they will continue to feature your brand.

The name media relations can be misleading, because some press coverage comes with little to no relationships at all. A journalist can write about the brand from research on their website and social media, quoting past newsletters or videos, and even writing a secondary report of an interview a founder did in another publication. 

That said, media relations, when done right, can produce consistent press coverage over time with minimum effort to maintain. 

Some publicists and brand founders doing their own PR may reach out to a journalist once, work with them on a story, and then never speak to them again. Now, some journalists won't revisit a certain topic. However, by ignoring the opportunity to foster a relationship with a journalist who was interested enough in a brand to feature it once, you're leaving press coverage getting cold on the table. 

Now as a sex publicist, you know I have a lewd comparison to drive this point home. Think of going on a first date. If your goal is to have sex, we know from hook up rates that it's very likely that you will succeed. However, focusing on sex, rather than a person themselves, may leave them feeling without a real connection to continue seeing you in any capacity, let alone intimately, leaving the total times you have sex with that person at one. Now think about first dates when your focus is on getting to know someone. You may not have sex on the first or second date. But especially in the case of those first dates that turn into long-term relationships, the frequency of sex is higher when sex isn't the primary goal. 

The same goes for press relationships. When you're incessant for coverage with a journalist or editor, they may follow through with the interest just to get you off their back. The experience may leave a taste in their mouths that prevents you from having future pitches accepted. Rather, if you're gracious in your timeline, and think about being informative rather than begging for press, there's a greater chance your target media will enjoy working with you instead of dreading it. 

Patience over pushing is always appreciated in press relationships. I don't really care if a journalist I connect with over a client wants to feature my client or not right away. They may have six other commissions to finish up before they can consider pitching an editor a new story. I'd rather work with their schedule. Keep them updated on my client, and maybe even reduce consistency as to not clog their inbox. When they're ready for my client, I am there with bells on with an available interview time, links to recent pictures from the client, and if it's a product brand, offering samples of recent launches. Think of your friendships. If you've had a moment in your life when you're unavailable to make plans with friends, you appreciate the friends who graciously acknowledge your boundaries rather than the ones begging you to change your mind. 

When you focus on relationships over one-off media coverage, you build a network of journalists and editors who love a brand or product. Each relationship may have multiple opportunities to cover your company in some capacity. A commerce editor is always looking for affiliate-friendly brands to feature. If you have a plethora of products, you could have sever placements per month from a single journalist. I'd estimate for each month of media relations efforts, you could have one to five new journalists interested in a brand. That interest turns to interviews or product sampling which usually leads to feature coverage. Now after averaging three new relationships per month, after three months, there's almost 10 people who want to feature a brand when they can. Over six months that number is closer to 20. If each journalist can feature a brand one to two times a year, after once year, that could lead to 160 stories a year to follow if the relationships are maintained. Most people spend time with more than one person: Holidays with family, vacations with sweethearts or college friends, happy hours and lunches with colleagues both current and former. Just as you wouldn't expect one friend to be responsible for all your plans throughout a year, having more relationships with journalists will keep your brand busy in the press and maximize individual efforts. 

How long will you take to see results? I usually anticipate that after six to eight months of dedicated media relations outreach, brands will see consistent placements, ranging from two to eight or even more, per month. This varies based on the brand of course. A brand with a single product may not have as many opportunities as brands with multiple product categories. Medical devices, pharmaceutical products and supplements will have a longer timeline to receive consistence, about three extra months, since these topics can be harder for publications to greenlight often due to legal red tape or content restrictions. 

You’ll know when your media relations efforts are bearing fruit when journalists and editors want to repeat feature your brand or your insights. My clients are often surprised when they’re speaking to a journalist again, even though I make sure to cover that expectation and explain the goal of our media relations. With strong outreach strategy, media relations will yield opportunities from new and known journalists and editors. There of course will be time where there are lulls, but that is natural for any organic strategy.

The biggest mistake publicist and entrepreneurs doing their own PR make is treating a journalist as if their only job is to write about them or their client.

Like your personal friends, Media relations is a two-way street. You wouldn’t ask for something over and over again without reciprocation. And you want to make your communications about more than what you want from them. Acknowledge the moments in their life: did they get married? Experience a loss? Buy a house? Write a book? Take time to congratulate and comfort when you can. You wouldn’t ask a friend to help you move if you forgot to send your condolences when their dog recently died.

Be respectful of their time; there is a person behind every headline. Some writers cover other industries, and sometimes are covering breaking news while your industry is stable. Think of healthcare and travel writers during the pandemic or political reporters amidst election season. You wouldn’t push for sex from someone who just gave birth, got in a car accident or lost a parent. The same is for a journalist during a busy time. Instead, offer any support. Maybe they need a source that you might know, or a strong drink after work.

Once it’s established, show deference to each relationship by personalizing your interactions. Journalists and editors aren’t mean: they understand that for large company news you aren’t going to write 100 separate emails. But if you take time to send someone who wrote a great profile about you a personalized one-off here and there, they’ll see you care about them as more than an email address on an excel spreadsheet.

Sometimes a journalist or editor will inform you that they won't be able to cover your company; maybe they just featured. your brand or they plan to visit your industry in a long-form special package in coming months and don't want to dilute the content. If your company has a new launch, partnership, or executive move, you should still keep that person updated, especially if they have published you before. Their once-stated rules may only apply to evergreen stories, which that is not. Even if they can't cover you, they'll usually appreciate the opportunity to celebrate your news. 

Relationships with press are relationships with all people.​ When built genuinely, respected, and nurtured, can maximize results of pitching and storytelling efforts.  

PR Your Self delves into practices for earning media coverage without a Publicist
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If you're a new brand that doesn't quite have the budget for PR yet, it doesn't mean you're unable to achieve your own press placements. In fact, it's usually quite easy for a brand to drum up excitement in the press without a publicist. Because a new brand hasn't been written about before, it's very existence is exciting, new and noteworthy. With an active social media presence, and reading a little bit about your industry, you can find journalists to interact with on instagram and X, formerly Twitter. To make your life easier when speaking with press, having a media kit will move the conversation along because it'll provide all the relevant stats that press look for when considering a brand to feature or an executive to cite in their trend piece. 

Once you've started partnerships, influencer seeding, marketing campaigns, social media strategy, or even got your first press coverage, you may find other journalists and editors visiting your website to feature you themselves. If that happens, you'll want to have a Press Portal or Page set up. 

A Press Portal is a dedicated page on your website that is linked to your homepage. Most brands put this beneath and separate from "Contact" or "About Us" in the footer of their website. Many journalists will look for these on websites of brands they want to reach out to, because it shows that you are open to the potential coverage they could provide. Believe it or not, some brands don't want coverage, especially in the nascent stages. Without a press page, some journalists and editors may assume that you are not friendly to press and won't even bother to send you a note even if they're dying to feature you. 

Press Pages range from simple to elaborate. A basic Press Portal should include a contact email dedicated for press and the top-lines of the brand so journalists can easily reference why your brand is worth a feature or consideration.

When you're creating a press portal, you'll want a dedicated email for press that is different than your general "[email protected]" customer email. If journalists think their request is going to end in a stuffed inbox that is rarely-monitored, they may not take the time to write the email requesting an interview. Press research hundreds and thousands of brands. They've developed a system to figure out if a brand is open to interviews or coverage before even sending an email. Without a press page or a dedicated email, you could be missing out on press opportunities without realizing it. 

If you'd like to create a full-service press portal, there are a few additional add-ons that you can feature. 

​If you've already have some press-coverage, including past coverage on your press page can be helpful for journalists hoping to profile the brand without double dipping angles that were already covered. 

Another helpful feature for journalist and editors is having images available to download in addition to featured on the page to help journalists visualize the assets you have available for publication. 

Features that always attract journaliss include forms for requesting samples. Ask them for their address, email address, phone number and color, style and size preferences if relevant. Journalists love receiving samples, especially if it's from a brand that hasn't been reviewed yet. 

A press portal on your website shouldn't take more than a couple hours to set up and the benefits are more than worth it. ​

I barely remember hosting my first family party when I was 17 years-old. However, I do vividly remember my racing heart and constant worry of my anxiety throughout the entire affair. Fast forward to this past holiday season where I seemingly-effortlessly hosted family for Christmas Eve and Day without stress. The big difference? The years of hosting press-events in between. Throughout my career as a publicist, I've arrived nearly-on-time to events hosted by my clients with the promise that everything would be ready upon my arrival; all I had to do was show up. So rarely is this the case for any publicist. I've done everything to unboxing sex furniture unexpectedly delivered from Croatia or booking last-minute talent to cleaning toilets or running across town for last-minute pick-ups of replacements for deliveries that never showed. 

Over the years, I've gotten wiser and show up early to client-run events prepared for the worst yet hoping for the best, with sleeves rolled up to do anything needed to get ready for the arrival of guests and press list. When hosting my own events--whether personal or professional, though often a combination--I rarely feel stress anymore because I've gotten it down to a science.

Be Flexible with your Time-Slots 
Whether renting a space or hosting in your own home, don't expect anything to be on time, it rarely is. Rather, anticipate windows from when you want to start getting the space ready, when to expect guests arrivals, features throughout the evening and when you want certain foods or cocktails served. Create your schedule sequentially rather than based on a certain time. If you want a panel to start or a course to be served within 45 minutes of guest arrivals, don't set your alarm for 7:45 with a 7:00 start time. Rather, wait for enough guests to arrive to signify half, and then plan from there. 

Plan your Preparation in Advance 
Don't think about preparation for the first time the day of an event. Typically a week before an event, I make my schedule for the day of and surrounding the event. If there's tasks I can do far in advance like picking up any decorations or branded material, or creating custom pieces like place cards, food labels, gift tags etc, I schedule those into the four or five days before the event. The day of, I plan for things like when I want the venue to be ready, when I want to be ready, and everything I know I need to do for an event. When I'm hosting in my house, I think of things like when I want to light candles, turn on music. For a venue those can be final lighting, placement of branded materials, bar open etc. If you have childcare to consider, meals to be eaten in between preparing, make sure you're scheduling the required time for those activities. You'll have a lot less stress the day of if you know exactly what you need to do to get through the event without issues. 

Manage Personalities
The more people involved in an event, the better chances there are in delays or last-minute changes. If you're working with a lot of talent, plan for a call-time for each that is earlier than it needs to be and make them aware of it when negotiating the event. If someone is notorious for showing up late, tell them an earlier start time. Don't take chances when you're hosting an event where timeliness is required. 

Articulate Any and ALL Entrance Instructions 
When family members come to parties at my dad's house, there's no need for entrance instructions: everyone has been coming through the side door for twenty-plus years. When your hosting an event in a city, there's a possibility for bells to rung, doormen and security to be screened by, stairs to climb, elevators to ride, door codes, intercoms, coatchecks and I really don't need to go on but absolutely could with all the obstacles there are to get into an event in the city. Unless you plan of having signage from the street to the event, include entrance instructions or risk your guests turning away before entering. 

Use What's On Hand
We all have that last-minute alarm that asks us do we have enough of XYZ. From drinks, food or even branded content from some of my client events, I always worry if I have enough. Before I go running to the store for purchases I probably don't need, I look around me. If I need props for a client I go into my office and all the materials of projects passed and stuff whatever I can into a tote bag before I head to the venue. When I'm thinking about cocktails when I'm hosting, I go through my fruit drawer in the fridge and my bar cart for open bottles and mix something from there. I often find creative solutions that make for a fun party story over the drinks table. 

Always Plan for More 
Especially for after-work or weekend events that don't require a sit-down place-setting, there's a chance a few of your guests may want to bring someone or someones that they're currently with. Always plan enough refreshments for more people, and if there's too much, your guests are usually happy to help make sure there's no waste. 

My mother was a legendary hostess, and she always advocated that when hosting, the only thing you should have to do by the time your guests is open a bottle of wine. With thoughtful planning and savvy thinking, event planning whether on behalf of a brand or friends and family, can bring more joy and success than hiccups and stress. 

​For plant and intimate wellness brands hoping to distinguish themselves in their industry and cement their name in history, become a client:
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Call outs or call ins can come in many forms: comments, standalone videos, duets, press releases and news stories. I’ve seen accusations thrown at friends and clients ranging from racism, sexual harassment, abuse, addiction, and even more severe federal crimes and varying from real to fabricated. This post is not about determining the validity of accusations and allegations. Neither is this post to belittle the severity of the accusation. Some people and businesses need to be called out or in. 

The following is a combination of any advice that I’ve advised to the humans behind the brand in these situations. We humans are emotional beings and sometimes our emotions, especially when heightened, can make us react outside of our best interest. When you're a public figure, it's an especially precarious road to navigate. There are ways to circumvent even the truest and worst accusations in a way that is thoughtful both to a company and anyone harmed. 

The whole of the below advice is not applicable in every instance, as I wouldn’t recommend non-response to something that has seemingly caused harm or has wide exposure like a news-story or viral (1M+ Engagement) social media content. However, if you are in a position that cancelling or accusations can have an impact on your business’ or personal success, I do recommend reading all of the options and fitting what applies best to your current or potentially upcoming situation. 

Think About Your Mental Health 
Before whatever response you’re about to take, whether no response or recruiting a crisis publicist, think about where your mood state is after the call out (or in) and do something that will lift you up regardless of how the scenario plays out. Maybe you want to spend some time with family, exercise it out, hermit away. Think of what could shore up your mental health to help you handle this crisis the best way possible. If it looks like a long road ahead, plan something that can help lift your mindset in the long and trying days to come. 

Take Your Time [...if Possible]
An immediate response can devoid the time for consideration of the most successful approach. When we’re first called out, we experience a lot of emotions. We get angry. We internalize. Sometimes you need to separate yourself from the post before responding. If you have time to, maybe it’s not as time critical and widespread, I recommend doing an activity and going about your day until the extent that you momentarily forget about it. Feel free to make a draft of your response before walking away but don’t you dare post it. When you return to your original thoughts after separating yourself, you often find that that your initial response is often more emotionally charged than impactful. Sometimes you require an immediate response and if you are feeling overwhelmed and unsure of the best course of action and potential outcomes, a crisis publicist could help guide. 

Don't Put Your Hands Up
Our instinctual response to criticism is to put our hands up to brace for the attack. When you do that you are blinded by feedback about yourself, leadership style and organization that could be critical. When we put our hands up, we shield the emotional attack without listening to the feedback. Not all criticism should be acted on or even internalized in some cases, however all criticism should be heard as it could help your leadership strategy or brand direction going forward. 

REFLECT 
Before dismissing the call out or in as false and malicious, do an internal stock. We should always be listening to victims and if someone was harmed by your actions, you need to understand why, how, when, what etc to be able to create a thoughtful response that isn't a thin bandaid on a gaping wound. If there isn't merit to the accusation (specifically, its provable that the accusation is false: a former employee claiming a company doesn't pay on time with timestamped direct deposits matching and fulfilling the contractual obligation), it's still good to think about "how did this accusation come about? Are there times when this could be true for a new employee? Or maybe a contractor with another service provider? It could help you figure out areas of improvement within your organization or personal actions that will create a smoother operation in the future and prevent the need for factual call outs or ins. 

Ask for Feedback Internally BEFORE Posting Publicly
At the center of a call in or out, you often have an emotionally-charged response that detracts from what is really required as a response. You want to defend yourself, maybe even lash out in return. A trusted friend or colleague can help you discern how your proposed response will be received. If you disagree with their feedback and feel strongly about including the part they suggest you take out, find another person as a tie-break of sorts. If two people disagree with your approach, you may want to take a step back before starting your defense. 

Sometimes the Best Reaction is No Response  
Depending on the severity, exposure, platform, and legitimacy of the call out, responding can draw more customer attention than it previously had. If the New York Times accuses you of something with your company (sexual harassment, racism etc) you need to hire a crisis publicist immediately. If however a Twitter account with six (6) followers and no picture is saying you abuse baby kittens in comments on your posts, it probably doesn't warrant a  response.

Call outs and ins have a place in society and industry to draw attention to problems when action has otherwise been put off or victims are long-ignored. Call outs and ins can also produce powerful results that change culture and benefit many. Personally, however they can be intimidating, stressful, and draining. When managed thoughtfully, the subject of the call out or in can make it through with their reputation, business and social life in tact. 

There are so many success stories of brands who have gone viral on TikTok with a simple video that flooded orders for their products to the extent of selling out or getting temporarily shut down by their bank under suspicion of fraud. As a millennial who witnessed the birth of Instagram, FaceBook and MySpace (remember when?) has seen social media platforms like SnapChat, Tumblr, Vine and Vimeo come and go from marketing significance, I am always personally fascinated by how brands utilize the latest social media craze to build a community, reach their target and even un-targeted audience, and gain global recognition with a few thoughtfully planned and well-timed posts. 

I currently have no desire to be a content creator, but I love to be a content consumer when I take short breaks in my day. Without a plan to add TikTok to my offerings of professional services, I personally have resisted downloading the TikTok app; the reposted Reels on Instagram are enough distraction for me. Many of my colleagues are freelancers who need to have an established personal brand on social media in order to get bylines in our ever-competitive media market. From watching Sex Writers and Sex Educators interact with TikTok, I've learned from their experiences what plant and intimate wellness accounts can expect when trying their hand at TikTok.

I've heard from cannabis and intimate wellness brands who have tried their hand at TikTok to promote their products that unlike instagram where you can link you products in a shoppable post, any links that lead to a page selling cannabis accessories or intimate wellness products has the risk of being taken down. Brand ambassadors promoting a product tend to have better success in a product going viral on TikTok as far as product promotion for plant and intimate wellness brands however, the product itself may not be able to be shown. For instance, content creators talking about a powerful orgasm from a specific toy won't show the actual toy but link to it or offer a discount code. I've seen cannabis brands have success posting about their products with an aggregator link like a blog post that has the shoppable link in the post. 

While Meta's Instagram and Facebook have clear guidelines for what can or cannot be included in posts like genitals including female nipples (though not male), and words like "sex", "porn", and "sex work", TikTok doesn't have a "nipple", or a clear framework for what will or will not be taken down. Educational content that is more informative than vulgar like how to put in a tampon or shop for condoms can be taken down while nudity has been left untouched for some creators. What many creators have noticed is that it depends on who is reporting you, unlike Instagram which uses content moderators and AI to snuff out content that they believe doesn't fit their guidelines. Instagram usually has some type of appeal process for when AI can't tell the difference between a rose and a vulva, or educational content gets taken down that doesn't actually violate the guidelines, but I've heard TikTok is different.  Once a video is gone, there's little opportunity for a repeal.

Limitations often breed innovation and TikTok's intimacy educators and plant wellness advocates have found ways to keep providing informative and destigmatizing content. However, these solutions often dilute the brand. Words and phrases like "Erotic", "Sex Work", "Sex" and "Porn" have been butchered to "Er(*)tic", "S/W", "Seggs" and "P*rn". For brands whose target audience is people on the internet like an advocacy group for online safety for sex workers or an accessibly priced vibrator that is an easy and no-remose impulse buy, these negotiations aren't horrible although casual viewers may not take the time to translate the censorship to engage with the content. On the other hand, marketers for a luxury vibrator brand wouldn't want their products being called a "Seggs Toy" as the brand didn't invest in luxury details to have their toy lumped in by association with thousands of products that don't have similar attention to detail and intuitive  innovation. 

Cannabis brands often have to blur out any cannabis, like nugs or ground up herb. If you're main product is cannabis,  you're blurring out your flagship products that set you apart and best-sellers with cult followings. Imagine if Hamburger Helper had to advertise on TV with their product blurred out. Subliminal messaging may work for a one-off experimental advertisement, but consistently wouldn't allow the brand to build global recognition. 

The long and short of it: if you have a talented social media manager who can spare a few moments to create a TikTok here or there, it's absolutely worth a try if your brand aligns with the internet censorship guidelines. Something to keep in mind however, since TikTok's censorship is not consistent, your favorite videos may be taken down without warning or opportunity to repeal the decision. TikTok accounts that garner the most views are posting consistently.